Preparing your Child to Become a Siblingby Carlie Mullaney
So you get that two-line test you’ve been wishing for, congratulations! Suddenly it sinks in you are going to be a mother of not just one, but TWO children, what?! Surreal feeling, I know!
Then you think, “how will my first baby cope?” For me this was an overwhelming feeling, Archie was two years old and still breastfeeding which made me panic about the situation even more.
The first step for me was telling him, we told him all about the baby in mummy’s tummy and how he was going to get a forever friend, he seemed excited, great! In reality, he was still very much still a baby himself, we spoke about the baby often and helped him get to grips with the fact the baby was moving into our home and the fact he was going to be sharing his Mummy and Daddy with them.
Overall he seemed excited. We never pushed anything on him, bonding, inclusion in scans, touching the belly etc. We allowed him to go at his own pace. Within weeks, he was rubbing my bump and talking to the baby and every morning he would kiss the bump and say good morning.
Scan time rolled around and we were dubious about allowing him to come with us, a controversial subject I know. For us, we decided that if he wanted to, then he was more than welcome. He came into the scan with us and shocked us massively with his reaction. He was ecstatic, he walked out of the room saying I have a baby in my mummy’s belly. It was just lovely!
From then on, we always asked if he wanted to speak to baby, play music to baby, help pick their clothes whilst we were shopping, he even got involved with popping our gender reveal balloon and picking her name.
Within no time, he was excited and just as in love with his baby sister as we were.
- Do not force any involvement with the baby until they’re ready
- When they show interest, offer them to help with picking baby items/names etc
- Build a relationship between them, introduce bump cuddles, kisses, music playing
- Do not change your attitude, behaviour or attention towards them, regardless of a new baby coming, they are still very much “your baby”
- Be understanding of their feelings, it’s a big change!
- Do not make a big deal of it. We were very relaxed when Indie came home, we got Archie a McDonald’s from his little sister and that is as far as gifts went, he was over the moon with his chicken nugget happy meal haha!
If you have any questions you’d like me to help with feel free to message me on any social channels! Whatever you do and however you deal with your baby meeting their sibling, just enjoy it!