My Kid Is An Asshole

by Matilda Miles

It sounds harsh to say that my son is an arsehole but it's true, most kids are when they hit 1 and upwards. Their whole world is changing so fast and they won't be able to understand properly what's happening nor will some of them be able to say what they want although most of the time you will get it right, unfortunately, that still won't stop the complete meltdown they are about to have.

My son loves food (which some of you will think that's great what is she complaining about) and I'll tell you why the second he sees food he wants it and he wants it bad!!! However, I can't just walk up to a complete stranger and say 'hey my son saw you eating, give him some' because 1- I'll look like a total rude arse bitch and 2- It's just really impolite. And because he loves food I have try to be careful how about much he's having and when so most of the time I don't bring snacks with me when I take him out all because I don't want him to just balloon out of size and I have to consider that he is smaller than the other kids in height so most of the weight gain won't stretch out with him. It sounds cruel and I've been told that to not give in to my son's demands is harmful to his developments but this is what I say to that... Fuck off.

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What's really harmful to their development is giving in to every single demand because otherwise, they could just end being like Veruca Salt the snotty brat with no boundaries from charlie and the chocolate factory. All children need to learn the word NO! It's not being a horrible parent it's actually called a conscientious mum/dad all because you are letting them realise that not everything is going to go their way.

Picking your battles is my all-time favourite phrase for parenting, there are no wiser words spoken than this: Sometimes you just have to let them have the world's coming to an end meltdown because honestly sometimes that's what they need, just like how I mutter 'for fucks sake' under my breath several times a day. It's frustrating when so many things are out of your reach and not being able to express properly want it is that you want and that's exactly what's going on with them.

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So, in short, yes my child is an arsehole because I've set the lines out for him to stay in between, but your kid is the same no matter who you are, even Kate Middleton's children have their moments and that's awesome because it shows that you are doing a good job. We all have our meltdowns, it's just toddlers have them more frequently then we do. So take it in whilst you can because it won't be like this forever, pick them up when you can tell them you love them.

My son is an arsehole and quite possibly the spawn of satan but he's mine and I wouldn't change a single thing tantrums and all. But try telling my mum this, as a mother of six she should know better and has clearly forgotten the bad times, and just see a beautiful grandchild in front of her who can do no wrong.


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Written by

Matilda Miles

Matilda Miles
My name is Matilda but everyone calls me Tilly, I'm a first time mum to a little boy called Dexter who was born 6 weeks early but luckily was very healthy considering. I'm the youngest of 6 and raised by my mum who has been a huge support and my go-to person. I'm also a huge Disney obsessed fan and am a huge animal person and I have a very grumpy cat who is very protective of my son. I also suffer from severe post-natal depression but I'm in the road to recovery and I'm also in the midst of writing a book about it all.

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