Duchess of Sussex Reveals "Unbearable Grief" of Miscarriageby Laura Driver
The Duchess of Sussex has revealed she had a miscarriage in July causing her and Prince Harry “unbearable grief”.
The Duchess wrote of the moment she knew she was "losing" her second baby in a deeply personal essay for the New York Times. Recalling the devastating morning in July, she had been looking after her son Archie, who would have been about 14-months-old at the time, when she felt a "sharp cramp".
She wrote: "After changing his diaper, I felt a sharp cramp. I dropped to the floor with him in my arms, humming a lullaby to keep us both calm, the cheerful tune a stark contrast to my sense that something was not right. I knew, as I clutched my firstborn child, that I was losing my second. Hours later, I lay in a hospital bed, holding my husband’s hand. I felt the clamminess of his palm and kissed his knuckles, wet from both our tears. Staring at the cold white walls, my eyes glazed over. I tried to imagine how we’d heal."
Meghan said she had decided to speak out about her loss because miscarriage was still a taboo subject which led to a "cycle of solitary mourning" saying she wanted to encourage people to ask "are you OK?"
She added: "Sitting in a hospital bed, watching my husband’s heart break as he tried to hold the shattered pieces of mine, I realised that the only way to begin to heal is to first ask, 'Are you OK?'"
The Duchess referenced the interview she gave in South Africa last year when ITV journalist Tom Bradby asked her the same question. At the time, she struggled to hold back tears, saying: "Thank you for asking because not many people have asked if I’m OK."
And in the New York Times essay, Meghan spoke of the importance of sharing pain, saying "together we can take the first steps towards healing".
She went on "Losing a child means carrying an almost unbearable grief, experienced by many but talked about by few. In the pain of our loss, my husband and I discovered that in a room of 100 women, 10 to 20 of them will have suffered from miscarriage. Yet despite the staggering commonality of this pain, the conversation remains taboo, riddled with (unwarranted) shame, and perpetuating a cycle of solitary mourning."
She added: "Some have bravely shared their stories; they have opened the door, knowing that when one person speaks truth, it gives license for all of us to do the same. We have learned that when people ask how any of us are doing, and when they really listen to the answer, with an open heart and mind, the load of grief often becomes lighter — for all of us. In being invited to share our pain, together we take the first steps toward healing."