10 Reasons Why a Toddler is Essentially a Mini-Drunkby Sophie Gillum-Webb
I know that It's probably really bad form to compare a toddler to a drunk person. Gosh, I imagine I'll get a few eye rolls for making this observation, but Hugo has been earthside for over 14 months now, and as I watch him grow I am learning a few things about him. It seems that the more time I spend with him, the more I realise this epiphany that toddlers are essentially small drunk people!!
Toddler, I Compare Thee to….
When babies reach toddlerhood, it's a beautiful stage in their life. They begin to really embrace the world around them, and their character really starts to develop. Every day they become more mobile, and they want to attempt independence at every given opportunity. Now let's be clear and confirm that parenting is hard at the best of times, but my goodness toddlers are challenging in their own right! With their strong will and determination, they are a force to be reckoned with.
I've put together ten reasons that back up my theory that toddlers are essentially drunk people and I would love to know if you agree!
1. They Fall Over…. A LOT
They can be in an empty room, and they will still trip over.
2. They Are Highly Emotional
One minute they are the life and soul of the party and the next, they are inconsolably crying in the corner.
3. They Never Want to Go Home
No matter how much you beg and plead they NEVER want to leave!
4. They Pass Out in the Weirdest of Places
One minute they are a ball of energy the next they have passed out asleep and you a carrying them to bed!
5. They Cannot Control Their Volume
Inside voices simply do not exist, and it doesn't matter where you are everything they do is loud and over-animated.
6. They are Messy Eaters
They are always hungry, and no wonder when they end up wearing more food than they consume.
7. They Can't Have a Drink Without Spilling It
It's not physically possible for them to have a drink without spilling it all over the table, themselves and the person sitting next to them.
8. They Make Bad Decisions
Danger just isn't on their radar, and I'm sure their ability to feel pain is significantly reduced. Oh, and let's be honest if there is something to climb, they'll be on it!
9. They Like to Take their Clothes Off
You only have to turn your back for a second, and they are already shedding clothing for absolutely no reason. It's a given that if they get the opportunity, they will strip.
10. They Make No Sense
Lord knows they try, and they are desperate to have a deep and meaningful conversation, but they literally make no sense!
My days of going out on the town are long behind me, but perhaps this phase of parenting is payback for those drunken nights where my friends had to babysit me because I'd had one too many on a Saturday night!